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The Sporadic Chronicle
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29 May 2009
One of my cats brought this in to the house sometime today:
Reptile Reptile
A slow worm by the looks of it. It's been quite a week for reptiles; at the weekend I saw a grass snake for the first time, and today I encounter this creature, also for the first time.
06 May 2009
The ID card scheme just gets siller:
High Street retailers have rejected security fears about giving them the job of fingerprinting and photographing people applying for identity cards.
The Home Office has axed plans to set up ID card enrolment centres and instead wants pharmacies, post offices and photographic shops to do the work.
Trade bodies representing chains such as Boots and Snappy Snaps told the BBC they can be trusted with the data.
Ah yes, good decision. Because the best way of establishing a robust infrastructure of national security to protect us from terrorism and organised crime and other constantly changing reasons why we supposedly need this, based on the latest and strongest biometric technologies, is to get Boots and Snappy Snaps to capture the biometric data central to the system's integrity. That's certainly how I'd do it. Because Snappy Snaps is the lynchpin of any well-built security system.
05 May 2009
As science tells us that the earliest Europeans were dark-skinned and came from Africa, outraged 'Daily Mail' readers demand a recount.
05 May 2009
Carl Sagan remixed into Agent Smith from the 'Matrix'. Excellent.
22 Apr 2009
Ooooh wow, the Cassini robot in orbit around Saturn is still doing great things and sending back jaw-droppingly great pictures which are full of wow. If you can look at these and not think "wow"* then you have a heart of stone. I have just one word for all of this, and that word is "wow".

(via Mr Plait. Or Dr Plait. Or Captain Plait, or whatever his title is.)

* What's not be wowed by? We have robot spacecraft taking pictures of the moons of other planets, sending them back to us along a thin thread of radio waves, then a computer at NASA sends the pictures to the computer in front of you, so you can say "wow". Not only are there robots in space doing our bidding, but they make pretty pictures appear in your web browser. Wow.
18 Apr 2009
At the Oxford University Museum of Natural History recently (click for higher resolution):
Trilobite Trilobite Trilobite Isaac Newton statue
Beetles Flies Charles Darwin cartoon Charles Darwin statue
Price Albert and T rex Archaeopteryx model Archaeopteryx model Archaeopteryx fossil
Trilobites: how weird and varied they were. I can recommend the book about them written by a man at the Natural History Museum.
15 Apr 2009
It's Leonardo da Vinci's birthday today. Happy birthday, Leo!
15 Apr 2009
Hats off to Italian brain surgeon Claudio Vitale, who was in the middle of operating on someone's brain when he started to have a heart attack an angina attack. He toughed it out and finished the operation before stepping down for treatment.
"I couldn't leave [the patient] at such a delicate moment," Mr Vitale was quoted by La Repubblica newspaper as saying.
"I'm not a hero, I only did my duty," he said.
Bravo, sir.
(via the Geologic Podcast's Indestructible Bastards section).
15 Apr 2009
Saudi Arabia's seeing a bizarre hoax about sewing machines supposedly containing the mythical fairy dust called "red mercury", which isn't in old machines because it erm, doesn't actually exist:
Saudi police say they are investigating a hoax that has seen people rushing to buy old-fashioned sewing machines for up to $50,000 ... In Dhulum, it was reported that people had broken into two tailors' shops to steal the machines.
Very odd. Mind you, people going mad for "red mercury" in old sewing machines isn't as silly as the British law enforcement establishment putting people on trial for trying to buy the stuff, leading to the top comedy quote from the prosecutor that ""The Crown's position is that whether red mercury does or does not exist is irrelevant." ... sigh.
10 Mar 2009
In a move which is certainly a profound shift in the country's power structure, and not at all a pointless gimmick, we're going to be allowed to rate things. Anthony explains why this might not be such a good idea.
10 Mar 2009
In a move which is certainly a profound shift in the country's power structure, and not at all a pointless gimmick, we're going to be allowed to rate things. Anthony explains why this might not be such a good idea.
10 Mar 2009
Overdue update on the Duchy Originals healthcare claims. After a couple of weeks, the "and efficacy" claim was removed from Duchy Originals' blog post about the products, and the other week the MHRA e-mailed me their "Summary report for publication":
Duchy Herbals Echina-Relief Tincture & Duchy Herbals Hyperi-Lift Tincture, consumer advertising - January 2009
A member of the public complained to the MHRA about the advertising of Duchy Herbals Echina-Relief Tincture and Duchy Herbals Hyperi-Lift Tincture which appeared on the Duchy Originals website from 24 January 2009. The complainant alleged that the advertising suggested that the products had been assessed for efficacy and was therefore misleading.

The MHRA upheld the complaint. Nelsons, the registration holder, on behalf of Duchy Originals agreed that they would amend their advertising and remove claims of efficacy from their website and all future advertising. Following delays in implementing the changes, Nelsons provided additional training to Duchy Originals staff on the legislative requirements.

MHRA advice
These two products have been registered under the Traditional Herbal Medicines Registration Scheme as required by Directive 2004/24/EC on Traditional Herbal Medicinal Products. The MHRA, as UK regulator, is required to assess applications for traditional herbal medicinal products for safety, quality and evidence of traditional use. Efficacy of the product based on scientific data is not assessed, although the MHRA is required to refuse registration if efficacy on the basis of long established traditional use is not plausible.
In short: whether they work or not hasn't been assessed at all. That someone writing on Duchy's website would have claimed that they had been is disturbing. When the Traditional Herbal Registration Scheme was introduced, there was cricitism of it on the grounds that consumers would take a registration on grounds of "traditional use" for an illness as an endorsement of a product's effectiveness against that illness. If someone working for a company which has been through the registration process can make that mistake, surely regular consumers are more likely to fall into the same trap.

At the same time, Duchy Herbals is under fire from the country's only professor of complementary medicine:
Professor Ernst of Peninsula Medical School said Prince Charles and his advisers appeared to be deliberately ignoring science, preferring "to rely on 'make-believe' and superstition".
That's got to hurt.
18 Feb 2009
I like this - I like it a lot.
Original Sidney Paget illustration Lego rendering of Paget illustration, by Kaptain Kobold
16 Feb 2009
It's collisions all round at the moment; satellites, nuclear missile submarines, men on lawnmowers...
01 Feb 2009
At the Science Museum yesterday (click for much larger versions):
cat with 7 toes frog 6 legs
chimpanzee brain human brain
chimpanzee brain difference engine difference engine
Now I know what you're all thinking: "Why's the chimpanzee brain labelled Anthropopithecus troglodytes, when chimps are Pan troglodytes?" I share your bafflement, gentle reader. Answers on a postcard, please.
28 Jan 2009
It hasn't been this bad since the war, experts say. Does this mean I'll have to dig an Anderson shelter into my back garden this weekend?
27 Jan 2009
Via the Quackometer I see that Prince Charles' Duchy Originals company is branching out from tasty biscuits and chocolate into healthcare, with the launch of three flower potions which they claim can lift mood, help with colds, and help you "detox". Duchy Originals says the following on their website:
Duchy Herbals Echina-Relief Tincture and Duchy Herbals Hyperi-lift Tincture are the first UK produced herbal tinctures to be approved under the Traditional Herbal Medicinal Products Directive laid out by the Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) ... The directive means that the two tinctures have been assessed - in terms of their safety, quality and efficacy - by the UK regulatory authorities.
(My emphasis). This surprised me because under the Traditional Herbal Medicinal Products Directive, as the MHRA describes it, there is no assessment whatsoever of whether a licensed product is effective:
Under the Directive, a company needs to demonstrate the safety of the herbal medicine by providing bibliographic evidence of a minimum of 30 years of traditional use for the product. At least 15 of the 30 years must have been within the EU. This replaces the requirement to demonstrate efficacy and serves as the basis for permitting minor therapeutic claims
(My emphasis). I've written to Duchy Originals and the MHRA asking what assessment of efficacy was conducted, but while they're getting back to me the excellent David Colquhoun tracked down the PDFs of the MHRA's approvals of the St John's Wort and Echinacea tinctures which Duchy Originals are selling. Here's what the MHRA says about the efficacy of Duchy's St John's Wort elixir:
This registration is based exclusively upon evidence of traditional use of Hypericum perforatum L. as a herbal medicine and not upon data generated from clinical trials. There is no requirement under the Traditional Herbal Registration scheme to prove scientifically that the product works.
That's perfectly clear - the St John's Wort tincture was licensed entirely because people have used it for a long time, rather than there being any evidence that it works. Let's see if the MHRA says anything different in its approval of the Echinacea tincture:
Duchy Herbals Echina-Relief Tincture is used to relieve the symptoms of the common cold and influenza type infections, based on traditional use only. This medicine is an oral liquid containing the active ingredient dried Echinacea purpurea L. Moench root tincture.
This registration is based exclusively upon evidence of traditional use of Echinacea purpurea as a herbal medicine and not upon data generated from clinical trials. There is no requirement under the Traditional Herbal Registration scheme to prove scientifically that the product works.
So, the same thing. A clear statement that the UK regulator specifically didn't consider these products' efficacy. I think I might have to write personally to Prince Charles to ask him why his company is saying the regulator has assessed these medicines' efficacy, when the regulator clearly says they've done no such thing.

Another thing that's not terribly desirable is that Duchy Originals have the following warning about the risks of St John's Wort:
Precautions: Do not take if you are under 18 years of age, you are pregnant or breast feeding, you are allergic to any of the ingredients, your skin is very sensitive to light (photosensitive) or you have been diagnosed with depression.
This warns people about one side effect - photosensitivity - but makes no mention of the fact that St John's Wort can interfere with how a wide variety of medications - including contraceptive pills and anti-clotting drugs - operate, making them less effective. Surely it might be wise to include something along the lines of "Do not take if you are on any medication, including contraceptives, without first consulting your doctor". I've pointed this out to Duchy Originals. We'll see if they do anything about it.
26 Jan 2009
I knew there's a problem with rhinoceroses being poached for use in traditional medicines, but I hadn't realised that in Tanzania and Burundi much the same thing can happen to albino people: they're sometimes killed and used in folk remedies, which can be lucrative if you have an albino wife. The government of Tanzania recently decided that enough was enough and revoked all witchdoctors' licences*. The result? The witchdoctors keep right on practising. Great quote from the Tanzanian President, though:
"These witchdoctors are big liars," he said at a rally in the northern Shinyanga region.
* And before you snigger at the idea of licensing witchdoctors, remember that we're doing exactly the same thing in Britian with the Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council - rather splendidly dubbed "Ofquack".
22 Jan 2009
Excellent, jail sentences for thuggery range from 4 to 11 years. Fully deserved; for their crimes against grammar if nothing else. Naturally, there's some petulant whining that their sentences are "disproportionate"... in a way that their actions somehow weren't.
20 Jan 2009
So Obama is inaugurated ("We will restore science to its rightful place" - yay!), but I bet a stumble over the words of his oath will keep crazy conspiracy theorists busy for another 4 years. I entirely expect to see claims that Obama isn't really President because he didn't take the oath properly. Crazy though that would be, it'd make much more sense than stuff that's already been said claiming that he isn't really a US citizen.
11 Jan 2009
I'm glad to see the India Daily technology section is as strange as ever, informing us that Martian ice is alive:
Scientists have started understanding the presence of advanced life forms in the form different phases of ice in Mars and other planets. [...] According to some scientists ice life forms have complex helical ICE DNAs and RNAs just like conventional life forms. As a matter of fact, some scientists now are keen to believe that the single cell organisms actually evolved from Ice life forms in the asteroids. [...]
If 'Ice Creatures from the Asteroids' wasn't the title of a 1960s B-movie it certainly should have been.
Many scientists believe type zero life forms (like us) actually evolved from ice life forms that are abundant in many planets and asteroids.
Note this is "according to some scientists" and "many scientists believe" but the article doesn't name a single one.
11 Jan 2009
Attention, Britons, the nation needs your brains:
More people need to donate their brains to medical research if cures for diseases like dementia are to be found, UK scientists say. ... Professor James Ironside, of the Human Tissue Authority, which regulates the donation process, said as well as a shortage of diseased brains to study, there was a bigger problem of getting hold of healthy donor brains for comparison.
I am definitely signing up for up this, and encourage others to do so. I'm already an organ donor, and it would be great if someone can find a use for those parts that can't be used as spares. Besides, in a strange way I quite like the idea of spending some time as a brain in a jar.
10 Jan 2009
Conservapedia, an alternative to wikipedia established by the more zealously-minded so they don't have to expose themselves to the "bias, deceit, frivolous gossip, and blatant errors" of those who don't share their ideology, is always a reliable source of unintentional comedy. For example, what's not to love about the entirely straight-faced claim that "emus, like all flightless non aquatic birds, originated in the Middle East and are the descendants of the two emus that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood", the caveat that dinosaurs are only "generally believed" to be extinct, the complaint that the Theory of Relativity somehow "enjoys a disproportionate share of federal funding of physics research today" or their recent exquisite temper tantrum when bacteria were seen to evolve a new and beneficial trait? I was browsing around a bit there last night and found the "Atheistic Style" entry, which lists some supposed characteristics of atheists. All are highly questionable and wild generalisations, but I thought it especially odd that "among scientists, an unshakeable faith in never-detected gravitons, dark matter, black holes, super strings and life in outer space" is listed as some kind of typically atheist position. First of all, confidence in well-tested theory is not the same as unshakeable faith. Secondly, string theory is so new and rareified and speculative that it hardly deserves the label "theory" and I doubt anyone has strong confidence in it, let alone enough to describe as "unshakeable". Thirdly, there's nothing uniquely atheistic in believing in any of those things, in fact I can't see how any of them would even remotely touch on anyone's religious beliefs. On the article's "Talk" page, user KevinS asks about this, wondering what motive there would be for astronomers to lie about black holes:
What is "Big Astronomy"'s motive in falsifying data about black holes? Their existence has little, if anything, to do with the theory of the Big Bang and presents no problem for Creationism.
A reasonable question. This is where it gets funny, as none other than Conservapedia founder Andrew Schlafly answers with possibly the single silliest allegation of conspiracy I've ever seen:
Outrageous claims about black holes sell lots of magazines to lots of naive people. And let's not forget that liberals get a thrill out of deceit for its own sake alone.
I'll let that sink in. Astronomers are pretending black holes exist in order to boost the sales of astronomy magazines. Never mind that most astronomers have never sold a magazine in their lives. Never mind that astronomy is probably more open, more verifiable and less vulnerable to fraud than any other endeavour; because anyone can point a telescope anywhere in the sky it's sort of difficult to lie about what you've seen up there. Never mind that all the world's physicists and mathematicians would have to be complicit in the Great Black Hole Pretence. Astronomers have invented black holes as a marketing ploy for magazine publishers: so says the founder of "the reliable encyclopedia".
10 Jan 2009
News from the animal kingdom:
29 Dec 2008
Eastern Tennessee is being flooded by 5.4 million cubic yards of coal ash slurry which escaped from its reservoir. Bizarrely, it seems people have been arrested for photographing this.
29 Dec 2008
Assorted pseudoscience bits:
29 Dec 2008
Assorted science bits:
23 Dec 2008
Further "death by superstition" news as more exorcisms turn fatal, this time in Pakistan:
LAHORE: Two women were killed while one sustained burn injuries after being thrown into a fire by an exorcist on the pretext of exorcising demons in Mirpur Khas, a private TV channel reported on Friday ... Police said the three women had been taken to an amil (exorcist) by their in-laws to get evil spirits possessing them expelled, the channel said. One woman was injured. According to the channel, police had requested the magistrate to order exhumation of the women’s bodies. The exorcist had not been arrested so far.
[Despairing sigh]
23 Dec 2008
Excellent: seven members of the Stop Huntingdon Animal Cruelty intimidation gang are waiting to be sentenced for blackmail. The fact that Gregg and Natasha Avery, SHAC's co-founders, pleaded guilty to conspiracy to blackmail almost makes me doubt the sincerity of the disclaimer on their website:
It goes without saying that nothing contained on this website or in any SHAC publication is intended to encourage or incite illegal acts. ... SHAC does not encourage or incite any illegal activities.
SHAC does not encourage or incite repetitive, threatening or abusive communications with these companies.

23 Dec 2008
Are you feeling irritable? Angry? How about lethargic or dull? Why, then what you need is a life force generator, to radiate healthy Prana and repair your aura.
Every culture throughout the world has a historical understanding of the reality of this energy and it is known by many names, e.g Prana, Chi, Qui, Life Force, Orgone...
...or, to be strictly accurate, "made-up crap". And you can buy some truly astounding tat to repair your aura. Oh yes. For the low low price of £50 you can be owner of a ghastly "7 Sided Power Pyramid" - a moulded lump of resin decorated by a staunch believer in the "Lots Of Glitter!" school of design. Those with £250 to spare can buy a "Power Wand" ("A very powerful psionic tool for healing or personal protection... It has been demonstrated that this device employs no black magic techniques."), or a wide range of astoundingly tacky pedants can be yours.

What impresses me is that he simultaneously claims to have evidence that his trinkets work, while being careful to post a disclaimer that they're for entertainment purposes only, in case they don't work as advertised.
19 Dec 2008
What would you expect to find at Irrefutable Proof dot com if not irrefutable proof? Irrefutable proof of giant alien cities on the far side of the moon!
This is the absolute, unquestionable proof of extraterrestrial life in the most astounding detail which you can download directly from official sites and verify for yourselves. ... Massive thriving colonies, city structures, water sources and hundreds of crafts within our own solar system which our government has been covertly observing by satellites for nearly 4 decades.
What they've actually got irrefutable proof of is the fact that if you take a digital picture, greatly enlarge it and then tinker with the brightness and contrast, you will see all kinds of blocky rubbish which isn't really there in the original. This is true of any digital picture, in exactly the same way that a film photograph would always look grainy if blown up too far. For example, here's a picture of one of my cats, who I assure you is devoid of any extraterrestrial constructions. On the right is the picture at full resolution, cropped to show only the face.
Cat Detail of cat
Then let's take part of that image - say the area around one of the eyes - enlarge it fourfold and make it black and white. Finally - on the right - mess with the contrast and brightness.
Zoomed detail of cat Increased contrast, brightness.
Vertical and horizontal lines appear, along with squares, rectangles and general blockiness. It is features such as these which the genius behind Irrefutable Proof dot com claims are gargantuan artificial structures on the surface of the moon. Or on my cat... and NASA and the world's governments have certainly been keeping quiet about that all these years.
17 Dec 2008
Rush I've not listened to anything by Rush for years but liked them when I was at university. So imagine my surprise and concern to learn that as well as being progressive rock maestroes they're central to sinister mind control operations targetting "celestial being, psychic, healer" all-round eccentric lady Solaris Blue Raven.
The information Solaris is going to give you here is extremely important to understand. ... In the following video and audio interviews, Solaris describes in detail how she was the victim of black ops and mind control projects, directly operated by the rock group Rush.
Okaaaay...
Sounds incredible? Not after you have heard her testimony. This very intelligent lady has decoded these programs and presents the results in a brand new book, "Eye of the Remote, Black Operations in Areas Beyond 52".
I predict a certain lack of lucidity.
Publishing this material is probably the most dangerous thing I have ever done.
Life on the edge, man... life on the edge.
17 Dec 2008
A plane goes missing in the Caribbean - how long before minor details like the unlicensed pilot are forgotten and it gets adopted into the "baffling vanishings" folklore of the Utterly Inexplicable Bermuda Triangle™?
15 Dec 2008
Okay, I like the Emergence of Advertising in America collection. There's something so direct about calling an insecticide 'Death Dust'.
Death Dust: kills all insects The insect powder in the trade is Death Dust
11 Dec 2008
Actor and audience got more than they expected at the theatre in Vienna:
The audience is said to have applauded what they thought was a stunning special effect, and only realised something was wrong when the actor staggered off stage to receive treatment.
He's okay again now, and I'm sure it's the sort of thing he'll look back on in years to come and have a good laugh about.
10 Dec 2008
The strange tale of the Dugway Sheep Incident, in which the sudden death of thousands of sheep had nothing at all (wink, nudge) to do with the ton of nerve gas the army was spraying nearby.
10 Dec 2008
One of the problems with the world today is you just can't find a good honest psychic to cleanse you of evil spirits:
A San Francisco woman who advertised herself as a psychic has been sentenced to two months in jail for bilking a love-sick customer out of $108,000 and talking her into buying her a sports car in exchange for purifying her of evil spirits, Santa Clara County authorities said Tuesday. [...] Miller convinced the woman that she was cursed and needed "spiritual cleansing," authorities said. The woman gave Miller $108,000 from her checking, savings and retirement accounts as well as cash, jewelry and gift cards. ...
A fraudulent psychic? I'm shocked! Sounds like it was a family business:
The woman finally figured out something was wrong when she read media accounts that Miller's mother-in-law, 56-year-old Lola Miller of San Jose, had been arrested for taking $450,000 in cash and services from a San Jose woman. Lola Miller, who went by the name "Miss Donna," read the victim's fortune, told her that she and family members were cursed and that she would cleanse them of evil for money. She also threatened the victim.
Classy.
05 Dec 2008
In Duke University's magnificent Emergence of Advertising in America collection, we find Prof. Winston's New and Novel Sea-Lion Act.
Prof. Winston's New and Novel Sea-Lion Act advert
I don't know why I like that, but I do.
05 Dec 2008
An important part of parenting in the 21st century is, of course, to remove any evil spirits from the child - with a hammer if necessary:
Blaine Milam and Jessica Carson, 18, were arrested Tuesday on capital murder charges in the beating death of Carson’s 13-month-old daughter during what evidently was an exorcism.
Investigators think the couple used a hammer to "beat the demons out" of the toddler.
Authorities said Amora Bain Carson, was also bitten more than 20 times.
Words fail.
02 Dec 2008
What better way to travel could there possibly be than in an ocean liner built like a zeppelin, as envisioned in the 1930s? Well maybe one planned mode of transport could beat that for grandeur: the Bel Geddes Airliner Number 4 - all 9 decks of it. I love the way the crew was expected to include a librarian, a manicurist and a gymnast.
01 Dec 2008
Writing in the Telegraph, Cassandra Jardine complains that the government insists on the best available protection against infectious childhood diseases and won't pay for parents to use less effective alternatives. Really.
But even though the risk of long-term complications [from Measles] is low, parents in Britain shouldn’t have to gamble with their children’s health. The vast majority of us only do so because we aren’t offered single vaccinations which - rightly or wrongly - we believe are less risky than injecting three live viruses at once into a small child’s immature immune system.
Single vaccines require more trips to the doctor and take more time to to be completed than the 3-in-one MMR, so making leaving the child more vulnerable to infection. There is no - I repeat - no actual evidence that the MMR vaccine is responsible for autism, bowel disease or anything apart from preventing measles, mumps and rubella. What's more, there is good evidence that it's both effective and safe. Jardine's complaint above makes exactly as much sense as someone saying, after deciding not to strap their children into car seats because of an unfounded rumour that seatbelts cause cancer...
...although the risk of actually suffering injury from a car accident is low, parents in Britain shouldn’t have to gamble with their children’s health. We only do so because we aren't instead allowed to swaddle our children in bubblewrap which - rightly or wrongly - we believe is less risky than using a seatbelt.

01 Dec 2008
It's good to see that while financial collapse, precarious fuel supplies, terrorism, climate change and war might distract some, a few MPs can focus on what's really important.
29 Nov 2008
The staff at the Unity Brook Inn in Kearsley saw some fuziness and speckles on their CCTV recordings, so naturally enough got people in to exorcise the evil spirits. Presumably eager to confirm the building's hauntedness, the ghost-hunters "encountered spooky goings-on during their investigation" - specifically, their camera batteries ran out and the pub toilets were cold. Hmmmm... how compellingly supernatural. I mean, really - pub toilets were cold? In November? That must be ghosts! But it ended well because the chief ghost-chaser is "confident that through neutralising the energy using my own power and salt and water, the ghost has gone." Bravo, Mr Psychic, you've exorcised the cold pub toilet and got some free publicity in the local newspaper. Brilliant. Truly brilliant.
28 Nov 2008
Thanks entirely to the baseless scaremongering against the MMR vaccine, measles is steadily on the rise in Britain. Urgh. In the BBC's Have Your Say section, 'Eddie D' of Burnham on Crouch is typical of those who completely miss the point:
I am a little confused. When I was a kid, getting measles, chicken pox, etc was part of growing up. You got it, your parents cared for you for a week or so, you went back to school. No panic, no mass vaccinations. Is it that we are breeding weaklings now?
No, it's not that we're breeding weaklings - it's that we're making great global progress against a highly infectious and often fatal or disabling disease, so having it flare up again in a country from which it had been eradicated is deeply depressing.

Eddie D's contribution also lacks some important words, which I've added below in italics:
You got it, your parents cared for you for a week or so, and if you didn't die of it you went back to school.
It's easy to forget that bit. Please don't.
28 Nov 2008
Sadly not in the shops in time for Christmas: the Alien Abduction Lamp.
28 Nov 2008
Pravda - very possibly the world's most credible former mouthpiece of the Soviet Communist Party - reliably informs us that Killer UFOs Hide In Lakes!. The evidence for this consists of some legends of people seeing fire in the sky near a lake. Mmmm, compelling. Oh, and there's this:
A strange incident took place in October 1994 on John D. Long Lake in South Carolina. A young woman named as Susan Smith was convicted of murdering her two little sons. Susan left the boys, 3-year-old Michael and 14-months-old Alexander in her car and let it roll into the lake drowning the boys.
Waaaah, it's killer aliens! Or someone not applying the handbrake. You decide which is more likely. Oh, and...
...Several dozens of cars drowned in Lake Whitney in Texas. All of the cars with passengers inside rolled into the lake from piers. Divers found some of the cars of the bottom of the lake, although they never found any human remains.
Local police officers say that many of those cars could not roll into the water because they were on a parking brake.
Notice how the writer makes it easy for people to find out whether this is true or just some kind of urban legend by not mentioning any sources for this, and not even telling us what decade it happened in. But even if it's true that some kind of freakish mass car-drowning happened at a lake in Texas, how does that imply that extraterrestrials were involved? If Pravda is to be believed - and that's a decision everyone has to make for themselves - these aliens are really up to no good. Not only are they hiding in our lakes, but they're also greatly interested in human sperm and ovules. Waaaah!
19 Nov 2008
The membership list of the British Union of Fascists has been published, raising all sorts of legitimate and deeply serious issues about privacy and politics which I don't intend to go into. What tickles me is the BNP is trying to squash the publication partly by using the Human Rights Act (please note, people of Britain, that threats are wrong: the correct response is mockery). This would be the same Human Rights Act (nausea alert: following link is to BNP website) which the BNP described just two weeks ago as "surely one of the most pernicious pieces of legislation ever passed by the mother of Parliaments".
19 Nov 2008
"Pirates: plucky but stupid" could be the subheading to this report of pirates trying to outgun an actual warship. The Indian navy's frigate Tabar came upon a pirate vessel near Yemen and then...
...The navy said the pirates on board were armed with guns and rocket propelled grenade launchers.
When it demanded the vessel stop for investigation, the pirate ship responded by threatening to "blow up the naval warship if it closed on her", the statement said.
Pirates then fired on the Tabar, and the Indians say they retaliated and that there was an explosion on the pirate vessel, which sank.
Well, quite.

Meanwhile in a deeply silly letter to the Telegraph, a UKIP MEP blames piracy on the EU:
A month ago MEPs in the European Parliament adopted, with a huge majority, a proposal to downgrade piracy (report, November 18) from an act of war to a simple criminal act.
Once implemented it means that a naval vessel will not be allowed to blow pirates out of the water, as they deserve, but will have to arrest them and send them off to an international court, where, no doubt, they will plead "human rights"...
..which clearly hasn't prevented the Royal Navy from shooting people where necessary, or from sending prisoners to trial. And in the scuffle described above the Indian Navy, unrestrained by any EU decision, gave chase when the pirates fled their sinking ship but didn't "blow them out of the water". Derek Clark MEP continues:
Two months ago the Parliament enthusiastically adopted a report which will require all ships in EU waters to carry an electronic tag to record their movements and cargos. This information, relayed by the Galileo satellite, will be electronically stored in an EU data centre. ...
Just one corrupt operator and the pirates will have all they need to sort out the richest pickings, instead of relying on chance.
The important words there are "all ships in EU waters". The astute reader will notice that pirate blackspots like the Somali coast and the Malacca Straits aren't in EU waters.
18 Nov 2008
The Bible UFO Connection is a very special website, offering a guide to flying vehicles and advanced technology in the Bible including "the largest published collection of biblical verses, revealing the highly advanced nature of the beings of the Bible". Oh yes, yes indeed:
There are hundreds of descriptions by credible witnesses from Moses to John of glowing flying objects, mechanical devices, a huge fleet of invading super vehicles, hyper-advanced weapons, and unearthly technology
For example, clouds:
Perhaps the most important reference to clouds is that Jesus will return with an army in the clouds. If these clouds are not the fluffy kind, but very sophisticated flying craft, as the Bible records, then this would seem to have relevance to properly identifying that army. When Bible text says that Yhovah rides a swift cloud, are we to believe that he is literally sitting atop a cloud speeding through the sky?
You've got to admire that. The Bible isn't saying that God physically rides around on actual clouds, because that would be silly... but it's somehow quite sensible for it to be an accurate depiction of vehicles driven by some kind of super-advanced alien race. Some might think a more likely explanation is being overlooked.

The site is wonderfully strange, like something resulting from a collision between Eric Von Daniken and a television evangelist.
15 Nov 2008
Deary me, long time no posting - sort of got out of the habit. Let's see what's going on in the world... Fighting monks, pirates and awesome space news: I think that's enough for now.
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