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(my PGP key, and you can get PGP from here)
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Colonel Blashford-Snell first encountered a Double-Nosed Andean tiger hound in 2005 when he was carrying out reconnaissance for this year's expeditionI can't help feeling that 'Colonel Blashford-Snell and the Double-Nosed Andean tiger hound' would have been a great title for a Sherlock Holmes story. It gets even better, as the Colonel describes his first encounter with the polynasal canine:
"I was sober at the time, and then I remembered the story that the legendary explorer Colonel Percy Fawcett came back with in 1913 of seeing such strange dogs in the Amazon jungle."The way he felt the need to stress that he was sober at the time makes me wonder whether Blashford-Snell's native porters aren't heavily burdened with cases of gin. But the best bit is saved for last:
The explorers also carried with them a church organ from Dorset as a gift to local Bolivians in order to secure their help with finding the meteorite.Ah yes - bring a church organ with which to pay the locals. Because cash can be easily stolen and travellers' cheques might not be accepted in more remote villages. This seems to be standard practice for the remarkable Colonel, who earlier carried a grand piano into the heart of Guyana:
"I said 'Good God, have you any idea what a grand piano looks like?' and he said 'I've seen pictures of one'.Marvellous. Hats off to him.
[An airline spokeswoman] said it was not known how the man avoided detection [in Peru], and during a several-hour stopover in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.Well I'd have thought that was obvious: it's because he had the monkey hidden under his hat.
Norway's Princess Martha Louise says she has psychic powers and can teach people to communicate with angels.Communicate. With. Angels. Riiiiight...
She says she realised as a child that she could read people's inner feelings, while her experiences with horses had helped her make contact with angels.Because of course horses are famous angel-facilitators. She's not completely bonkers, though:
[The Princess] made the announcement on a website promoting her plans for a new alternative therapy centre. ... Students at her centre, she says, will learn how to "create miracles" in their lives and harness the powers of their angels... A three-year programme at her centre costs 24,000 Norwegian crowns ($4,150; 3,000 euros; £2,000) per year.I predict this business will be a roaring success for her, because it's a fact there are people prepared to believe what she's got to sell and to fork out good money for it.
How amazing is this - a card game all about parasites:
In PARASITES UNLEASHED! you control a wily parasite, racing to complete your life cycle, mate, and lay eggs before your opponents. Do all the entertainingly gross things real parasites do -- bore into vital organs, hide inside a blood cell, hitch a ride inside a mosquito, even take over your host's brain!I have got to get me that when it's released - and priced at a bargainly $9.95. The people writing the game also have a parasite-themed blog, with entries guaranteed to leave you feeling simultaneously amazed by life's complexity and slightly nauseous.
Scientists have converted an organism into an entirely different species by performing the world's first genome transplant, a breakthrough that paves the way for the creation of synthetic forms of life. ... The proof of principle experiment solves the first of two big difficulties which have hindered the creation of artificial life. ... now hopes to overcome the second hurdle, by designing new genetic codes on computers and transplanting them into organisms to produce new life forms.Having seen many 1950s B-movies, I know exactly what's going to happen. Some idiot lab assistant will pour the contents of a flask down the sink so artificial bacteria get into the sewers, then the next thing we know there's carnivorous foam bubbling out of every manhole and drain in town.
"The car didn't actually explode. There were a few pops and bangs which presumably was the petrol."Nobody was hurt* as the attackers seemed to believe in the Hollywood Car Crash Theory of combustion, in which a container of petrol - on being heated - explodes and obliterates the neigbourhood. Fortunately it doesn't happen quite like that, and the cars seem to have been more "fire hazards" than any kind of "bombs".
"A huge slow-moving dark object moved over the streets of Southampton," he said. "It hovered and stopped over my garden and a wave came out and struck me. ... The pensioner claims that doctors have been unable to explain a scar on his left wrist and that he has also been left with puncture marks on his left knee where aliens inserted a syringe.He says they're stealing his DNA to create a race of alien-human hybrids with which to repopulate the Earth. Well, I suppose it gives him something to do.
BOYCE and BOICE are two demons that interfere with any electronic equipment, i.e., phone, computer, printer, automobile. If something malfunctions, command these two demons to leave your equipment, in the name of Jesus.If that fails, try rebooting.
Satan through his unrelenting plan of killing, stealing and destroying your bodies uses evil spirits to manifest particular diseases in your bodies. ...Ah yes, of course, the sadly overlooked Satanic Squid Theory of disease. Parents of young children may wish to note that a thorough understanding and mastery of demonic influences can be essential for successful potty-training:
Now a squid has ten (10) arms and an octopus has eight (8) arms. In the study of mind control we found out there was an octopus type spirit with 8 arms. With a squid type spirit it has 10 arms and such is the case with the spirit of DIABETES.
He is centered in the pancreas, which is right behind the stomach which is where the insulin is developed. This is where he seats himself. And then with the arms and the spirits that are working with him he touches the BRAIN. This is a spirit named migraine and a spirit named headache that works with him that touches the brain (one part of the body). Another part of the body he touches is the KIDNEYS. He will also touch the EYES. ...
Well my baby boy has been difficult to potty-train. ... I would sit him in the toilet for a long time and nothing would happen. ... And I was sick and tired of it. So I got really mad, sat him in the potty and told him he had to "go". The baby started screaming and I got the idea that it was a demon. So I commanded it to manifest and give me his name. The baby continued screaming and saying: "You can't make me, you can't make me". I insisted in the demon telling me his name, so the Holy Spirit said: "That's his name, "you can't make me". I commanded it out. The baby had deliverance and he has been potty-trained since."Erm, yeah. If you're still confused, perhaps all will become clear when demons are explained using the analogy of dishwashing.
Praise the Lord!
ONE of the most pressing needs of aviation has been a mechanical method whereby all passengers could be simultaneously and automatically bailed out at the psychological moment, that is, when the pilot learns that all hope for saving the plane is lost.Was that really considered to be one of aviation's most pressing needs? Oh to have been a fly on the wall at the meeting at, say, Boeing, where that topic was raised...
For example, imagine you say, “I have a method of brewing a magical healing potion that bypasses the ossified practices of your so-called `medicine,’ and I’ve personally known several people who were miraculously cured by it, and also there was a study once in some journal that didn’t conclusively rule out the possibility of an effect, and besides you don’t know everything.” No non-crackpot person is going to pay a whit of attention to you, except perhaps to poke fun in between doing serious work. But now imagine you say “It’s true that my claimed magical healing potion appears to violate this famous law of chemistry and that well-established principle of medicine... - but here is the empirical evidence that is dramatic enough to overcome that skepticism, and this is the reason why there might be a loophole in those laws in this particular circumstance.” ...Homeopaths: take note.
Crystals can be powerful tools and it is essential that those who use them for healing purposes have had adequate training in order to do so in a safe, responsible, knowledgeable and effective manner.Well, yes - nothing's worse than getting an overdose of crystal energy or having your aura punctured. I'm certainly glad there's a regulatory body to winnow out the quacks and charlatans.
This paper [...] suggests that, under some circumstances, for example, illustrated by placebo effects, the presupposition of experimental and control group independence is questionable. It suggests that this violation can occur via the creation of a “resonant bond” between groups. Resonance, in turn, can result in a macroscopic entanglement of experimental subjects, so that a stimulus given to one group also stimulates the other group.I'm really quite impressed. In order to explain what looks like the magic healing not having any effect, they've hypothesised the existence of a whole new kind of magic. That sound you can hear might be the body of William of Occam, rotating in his grave. Again, in the experimenters' own words:
Results: As predicted by resonance theory, there were few differences between treated and untreated animals from the [infected] group, but there were significant differences between these animals and the age-matched [uninfected] controls.The same outcome was observed in the treated and untreated mice. This is "as predicted by resonance theory". It is also - which they fail to mention - as predicted by the theory that the treatment doesn't actually do anything.
Although Mallory was not allowed on Tuesday to present new evidence, she argued for about an hour that the Harry Potter books promote witchcraft and contain violent material not suitable for young children.Oh. Dear.
“This is not just fiction or fantasy in the books,” Mallory said. “Witchcraft is real. It’s been around for thousands of years, and we were warned of it from God.”
“We don’t want our children to be murderers, but we can’t teach that in our schools anymore,” Mallory said. “‘Thou shalt not kill’ is out.”WTF? You can't teach children not be murderers any more? The only thing that stops people being murderers is the Ten Commandments? That just makes no sense at all. Crazy nonsense of the highest order. Mind you, I suppose she does think that the Harry Potter books are Satan's work.
“Your honor, we need God back in our schools,” Mallory said, with tears in her eyes, in the middle of reading the testimony.Aaaahh, bless. She specially objects to the violence and filth:
She read some passages [of a Harry Potter book] in court. She could barely speak the words.On the subject of violent filth, I assume Mrs Mallory wouldn't object to bits of the Bible:
"That's just one example, you know, of the violent, spiritual filth that our children are reading," Mallory said.
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.Oh that's nice: some people called someone a slap-head, so God responded - not by making their hair fall out, or smiting them with a comical attack of acne, but by having them mauled by bears. I will leave this case with a great unintentionally funny quote from Mrs Mallory:
"They don't want the Easter Bunny's power," Mallory said. "The children in our generation want Harry's power, and they're getting it."Look out - they're getting Harry Potter's power!
A Pentecostal teaching assistant who quit her job at a foundation primary school after she was disciplined for refusing to hear a child read a Harry Potter book is seeking compensation for religious discrimination. She claimed that the book glorified witchcraft. Sariya Allen, whose case is expected to end today at the south London employment tribunal in Croydon, claims Durand primary school in Stockwell discriminated against her as a born-again Christian and put her at a disadvantage compared with teaching assistants who were not of her faith.No, no... they put you at a disadvantage compared with teaching assistants who are not dogmatic idiots. That's an important distinction.
Sinus sufferers applaud nasal washingAt first glance I felt skeptical, but was quickly won over by the strong testimony of a qualified professional:
"I figure with all of that water shooting up my nostrils, there has to be something good going on," says Templin, an executive vice president for a Fort Lauderdale public relations firm.You just can't argue with evidence-based medicine like that. But beware the side effects of bungled nostril cleansing:
"I'd be sitting in a meeting and I'd put my head down and a puddle of water would come pouring out onto the table in front of me"Lovely. Putting a proverbial cherry onto the icing of the nasal washing cake is step 5 in their Nasal Washing Guide: "5. Remove device and blow out excess mucous into sink or tissue. Do not sniff in."
but having a strange enthusiastick head, began about the year 1651, to enter into Confederacy with one Reeves [to] cut out a new Scheme or Fashion of Religion; and to that purpose declare themselves, The two last Witnesses of God that ever should be upon the Earth; and that they had absolute and irrevocable power to save and damn whom they pleas'dA sort of 17th Century version of L Ron Hubbard. I like this observation:
So impossible it is for the wildest and most senseless, as well as most impious Notions, when broached with impudence among the Rabble, not to meet with some heads so irregular as to embrace them for serious Truths, or divine Revelations.That's still true.
Geller's company had sent YouTube a Digital Millennium Copyright Act notice taking issue with the Randi video, and claiming under penalty of perjury that it owned the copyright to it. EFF, on the other hand, claims in its lawsuit that Geller owns at most a few seconds of it--something that would likely be protected under U.S. fair use precedent.Heh. One might wonder why Geller didn't just delete the film from YouTube psychically.
If EFF is right, Geller could face legal liability and be forced to cough up some cash. In an earlier case, EFF managed to extract $125,000 from Diebold for misusing the DMCA takedown process.
One of the alleged 21 July bombers said he was only accused of being a suicide bomber because he was Muslim, a court has heard. ... "Because I am Muslim, straight away that meant I was a suicide bomber," he told Woolwich Crown Court. ...As if the bomb he was carrying was somehow irrelevant to the accusation.
This Book is a Factual account about an alien race! This book is about an alien race. They are taking over our planet. This alien race is known as 'the reptilians.' ... Conversations with a reptilian reveal their secret plans to destroy the human race and colonize the earth ~ exposes their weapons and methods of harming us. ...Read on for the terrible secrets of a man named Brian. Despite assuring us that it's a factual account of a true story, the author is concerned:
It would be easy to discount such experiences as those of a lunatic.Well yes, now you come to mention it, yes it would.
Health Minister Lord Hunt told BBC Radio 4's Today programme the information appeared to have been deliberately leaked. ...Well yes, if by "leaked" he means published on one of the government's websites.
"What I can assure you is we've got an urgent investigation taking place, because we clearly have to find out how that information was accessed improperly, whether any criminal offence has taken place and what the lessons are to be learned."One lesson worth learning would be to not publish private information on a publicly-viewable website.
"Yes, it is serious, and we're determined to get to the bottom of it."I heard that interview and the Minister's anger seemed entirely directed at whoever tipped off the media to the Department's incompetence. This is like the Department of Health posting people's private information on, say, a noticeboard in the foyer of their building where anyone could see it. Someone sees this, goes down the street to a newspaper and tells them "You'll never guess what they've gone and put up on the noticeboard in the foyer for all and sundry to see", then the Minister getting upset at the person who tipped off the newspaper instead of the true culprit: whoever put confidential material on the noticeboard in the first place.
Prime Minister Tony Blair has rejected demands for an independent inquiry into leaks of police anti-terrorism intelligence to the media. ...So that's alright then. Those leaks only hinder important police investigations, undermine public confidence in law enforcement and whip up public fears while possibly compromising trials and endangering lives, so aren't worth looking into any deeper. But god help you if you show up a blunder at the Department of Health.
The UK's counter-terrorism chief has said leaks could "put lives at risk".
But Mr Blair said "as far as he was aware" ministers and civil servants had not been responsible for any, and he completely condemned all leaks.
A 52-year-old man who was reported missing while on a canal holiday in Cheshire has been arrested on suspicion of stealing the narrow boat he hired.What on earth was going through his mind?
"With this inconspicuous narrowboat I will seemlessly blend into crowds, and in the unlikely event I'm noticed will outrun my pursuers with ease."And it so nearly worked.
<chug chug chug chug chug>...
